He Became A Speck in the Distance
by RyoutaShota
Summary: And just like that, he was gone. And as Yuki watched him turn into another cloud in the sky, he flinched, and a train of words and sentences and apologies and pleas and things left unsaid crashed together halfway in his throat. And he drowned.
1. Chapter 1

He missed him.

He missed the glass in his voice that poured out like the rain and thunder. The glass that could melt into sculptures or tear apart the callouses on his fingers. He missed the fields of amethysts and poppies in his eyes that would hide momentarily behind curtains of black stalagmites, and how they moved and waved with grace across the room and the shattered plates.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

And he missed the feathers in his hair that ruffled up like birds after being drowned in his baths. He missed his touch that felt like ivy wrapping up along stone gates, making its mark on humanity. And he missed how his hives of words turned into honey in his ear, turning an adult perspective into the words of a children's book.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

He missed the sugar on his lips and the candy in his throat. He missed his pearly teeth, each one dug up from the carcass and innards of oysters. He missed how his tongue flicked, and how his cheeks puffed up. He missed his muted colors and his bony shoulders. He missed his knobby knees and his see through chest, where his heart was absent, instead worn on his sleeve. He missed his abdomen, which vomited butterflies and petunias and geraniums and marigolds. He missed his very presence which was the very color in his life. He was the blue, the pink, the purple the periwinkle. He was all the shades of silver and purple.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

He missed his red lips, his pink fingers, his purple eyes, his icy hair. He missed his flushed cheeks, his nipped nose, his white knuckles, his white skin. He missed his face, his voice, his words, his name, oh God he missed his God damned name on their God damned house plate.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

"Please, Yuki, I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Haru…"

No, you don't.

No you don't. You don't have to go. You don't have to go anywhere not without me. Not with you leaving me behind. This wasn't how it was 6 months ago. This wasn't how it was supposed to be you were supposed to stay with me.

"I have to go,"

"No, you don't!"

* * *

Yuki Sanada was a grieving 17 year old boy.

A boy with a hole in his heart in the shape of the letters H-A-R-U. And he tried and he tried every day to fill that void but nothing could replace the presence of someone who changed his life. He remembers the day they parted. He remembers his sweet words and his pearly whites that would be engraved within him for eternity.

"Goodbye Yuki!"

"Goodbye Haru!"

And just like that, he was gone. And as Yuki watched him turn into another cloud in the sky, he flinched, and a train of words and sentences and apologies and pleas and things left unsaid crashed together halfway in his throat.

And he drowned.

Natsuki Usami, one of his closest friends and his only fishing companion looked up at him, shaking and talking to himself.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh? What? Oh, yeah, right. No, I'm fine. I promise."

He shook his head and regained control over the fishing rod in his hands.

"Lovely night, isn't it?" He knew that Natsuki knew he was thinking about Haru again, and the last thing he wanted was more advice-lectures from a serpent tongue. But it wasn't a lie. Enoshima was blessed with scarce clouds and clear water on a night with a shy moon. And he looked and admired the surface, a tiny lake more like a sea of short, waving bluebonnets under his rod drowned beneath the surface.

Just like him.

"You know, Yuki," Natsuki began, "It'd be best to forget about Haru, we'll be graduating soon and we'll have to move on."

Salt on the wound.

"I know, Natsuki," but he can't forget him. No matter how hard he tries he sees him in his dreams and he feels him in his bones, the same bones that yearn and ache to be with him in the stars. How could he forget him when every word he spoke and every sound that came out of his mouth spoke universes of eventualities?

And then there was silence. A long, painful silence, the kind that made a second last an hour and each flinch seem like a break out.

"It's getting late Yuki, I'm going home."

"Okay."

They packed up their belongings in silence.

"Yuki, all this worry and stress will make your hair turn gray. Please, for the sake of you and all your friends, forget about him."

And with that, he turned around and parted from him. Yuki watched him as he, like Haru, became another speck in the distance. And as Natsuki walked, he clenched his fist and bit hard on his lip.

"Please Yuki… you mean so much to me."

They both cried that night.

* * *

(A/N) Aaah... This is my first time submitting a story to fanfic net, please be gentle, and also please leave feedback!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

He reached out to him.

Haru taught him to find solace in everyday objects. He taught him that a bouquet of flowers could be his sickly grandmother, or that the sea could represent their friendship. He taught him to find beauty in everyday objects. Like how the dew in the grass was the leftover honey that the faeries would leave for the bugs to eat in the morning. Or that within a forest of trees lived a vast ecosystem of birds, reptiles, bugs, and mammals all fulfilling their daily duties like they did. Haru was fascinated by everything human and he made it his mission to understand their Earth through human lenses and human emotions.

"Yuki, what are these for?" Haru once asked, as he pointed to his puckered out lips.

"Huh? Well, you eat with those, I guess." Yuki replied.

"But! There are people at school that don't use them to eat!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sometimes I walk through the hallway and two people will have their lips touching! What is that? Are they eating each other?"

Yuki's face went blank.

"Don't worry about it Haru, it's nothing."

"What?! No! Tell me I want to know!"

"It… it doesn't concern you Haru, don't worry about it."

"If you don't tell me then I'll just ask Kate!"

"Fine."

Haru puffed up his cheeks.

And he marched downstairs.

"Oh, Haru sweetie, you mean a kiss?" Kate answered.

"Is that the one where you push your faces together?"

She laughed, "Well, Haru, in a way yes. There are many types of kisses. Sit down sweetie, I'll make us some tea. A kiss can mean a lot of things, but generally you only kiss the people you care for a lot."

"How do you kiss someone? Can I kiss you? I care for you a lot!"

"Slow down honey. You kiss someone by poking out your lips and pressing them on the other persons cheek."

"Oh! Then can I kiss you?" He jumped up from his seat

"Of course you can sweetie," and he puckered out his lips as far out as he could and pecked his face on her cheek. He stood in silence for a moment to take in what had just happened and how he felt about it.

"Wow! Kissing people is great. I want to kiss Yuki now!"

Kate laughed. "Good luck hun, make sure he doesn't get mad."

He dashed upstairs.

"Yuki! Yuki! Yuki, guess what I learned!" Haru was so excited he face planted himself into Yuki's cheek.

"Haru! What are you doing!?" Haru had a death grip on Yuki's head and was repeatedly placing firm kisses on him.

"I'm kissing you because I care about you a lot!"

"Haru! Stop that!" he was finally able to peel himself away from the trap of his lips, "You can't just go and kiss people like that!"

"Huh? Why not?"

"Haru, don't you know what "personal space" is?"

He looked at him confused.

"You have to at least ask their permission! And not attack them."

"Oh! Okay then, I understand." and he cocked his head from side to side in a silence that lasted forever, observing Yuki's hair, his freckles, and

his red cheeks. "Yuki, can I kiss you?"

* * *

Frame by frame the memories of Haru came rushing back and drowning him like the eye of a hurricane. And his lips quivered like the shaking petals of a Magnolia while more words bunched in the back of his throat and made his heart and shoulders heavy.

He realized it now.

That Haru cared for him tremendously and it made Yuki's heart ache and ache and ache. Every night Haru used to wobble into his room, eyelids heavy, and whisper goodnight to him. Gradually as time progressed and they became more comfortable with each other, he would hug him, then brush his red strands out of his face and eyes, and eventually he used to kiss him.

And he thought it queer at the time, he thought of it as Haru practicing his mannerisms and he thought nothing of it. Not until now that he doesn't have that closure before he falls asleep; not until now when he dearly and truly missed his cold white hands and his warm pink lips.

* * *

Every night Yuki found Haru amongst the stars; he was always the one that shined brightest. Astrologists say that the brightest stars are often freezing cold and dying in a vast explosion.

And in that moment he thought to himself that Haru was an ice blue burning hot supernova.

* * *

A/N: Aaah, sorry that took so long, I've been so caught up with school hah...

Anyway thank you for reading this far! Please leave feedback!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

He didn't get a wink of sleep that night. The only answer to his prayer of sleep was the unsettling buzzing of his alarm.

Another day of school.

Another day of waking up at the asscrack of dawn just to be around people he was almost 100% certain didn't want to see him as much as he didn't want to see himself.

He didn't want to get up.

But his feet and his legs betrayed him and forced him to arise and prepare, and before he knew it, he was on the train. And he saw Natsuki standing there, by himself, reading, and he wondered if he should say hello, but then decided against it. Is this what it came down to? Everyone was floating apart, and he knew it was almost all his fault. He curled up and dreaded the moment the train met his stop.

He was in class now. Same seat, same teacher, same head of black hair in front of him, the world moved on like nothing had changed. No one talked about Haru, no one seemed to remember him. Everyday people laughed and every day the trees grew another inch and it seemed so incredibly ironic and cruel that it shattered his heart all over again, and it was wearing lines into his face.

But then, in the corner of his eye, he saw it. He saw the only thing that could possibly save him, even if momentarily, from this nightmare.

A single daisy outside the window.

A single petite, perfect, purple daisy.

And he remembered. He remembered how every day the first thing Haru would do when he woke up was water himself and water his daisies. He had such an odd fascination with them as if they were his life force.

_"Without water, they'll die! Just like me._"

And it made all the memories of him rush back again. But rather than being overwhelmed with emotions of regret and guilt it brought back the fluttering in his heart and the butterflies in his stomach and it brought back the grin and the giggles he tried desperately to stifle.

Then classroom was no longer a classroom. The classroom blossomed into a faerie's escape and ivy grew in the corners of the room and climbed up the teacher's desk leaving soft droplets of dew from being roused from its slumber.

Petunias and Marigolds and Daffodils bloomed next to every tree that grew tremendously enough to tear apart the walls and the roof. Pale pinks and bright oranges neighbored each other across the room. Inside the trunks of the trees were embedded desks and chairs and all the things he hated to see. The tile floor turned into patches of grass and daises and fruit and petals fell from every leaf in every corner of the room. Vines wrapped tightly amongst the windows and the feet of the tables and from them sprang the most deliciously plump purple grapes. He felt numerous rabbits run past his feet and he saw many brightly colored insects and reptiles slither and skitter on the walls. A lady bug and a rainbow beetle found their ways up his arm and around his shoulders and he laughed. He was happy. The air was foggy and diaphanous and it felt as if he could extend his hand and feel silk among his fingers.

He saw (never directly, only from the corners of his eyes) tiny feet and faeries wings leave glitter in their trails as they played games with his reflexes. He heard their translucent laughs echo and ring in his ears and he felt the honey of their words in the back of his throat. He felt some of them play on the edges of his socks and slowly but steadily he felt his feet being raised off the ground. He was floating. Flying. Free. The faeries helped him on his way; shrouded him with their special dust and he looked like a firefly illuminating the dark nights of winter. From the walls he picked several shades of daises and held them all close to his heart, because they were Haru's favorites.

Haru... He could swear, at that moment, that he saw him. He could swear that that tiny flush of silver hair was his and as his eyes met his momentarily, he smiled.

A simple, signature smile.

But that's when it ended.

It started with him being slowly lowered to the ground as he felt his shoes and socks being soaked with water. The hem of his pants came next and slowly it accelerated at a constant, incontrollable, unsettling pace. Haru's image disappeared in a flurry of a tsunami and all the faeries and bugs drowned with a faint, horrid scream and the fruits tried to bobble for air and Haru's face was swallowed by the water. His silver hair was gone and instead replaced with frothy bubbles. And as Yuki felt his hair waving, light as air, and as his nose and eyes filled with water, a sudden panic struck him all over and his body went entirely stiff. He didn't want to lose him again. All he could think to do was to desperately try and plead and reach out and call his name again and again.

Until he opened his eyes.

And he saw his classmates reading from their textbooks and he saw the feet of their desks unrustled and the window panes as clear as day. He turned his eyes and he saw Natsuki, intently pretending that his focus and worry wasn't directed his way. He no longer heard the throaty giggles of forest fae and most importantly, there were no daisies on the floor or walls. No Haru looking his direction.

And he sighed.

* * *

(A/N): Ah... busy busy busy with schoolwork. Anyway, thank you for reading up to this point! Please leave feedback.


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